ENFJ
From
Conversations with
Envisioner Mentors
The following
is adapted from Linda V. Berens and Dario
Nardi, The
16 Personality Types: Descriptions for
Self-Discovery (Telos Publications,
1999) *Used with permission.
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I really believe everything happens for
a reason, to everybody. I’m a human
being, there are other human beings around
me, and each of us is unique. I trust
when something is going to take me to
a higher level and I’ll bring lots
of people along with me—a constant
quest of building a strong foundation
of self and others from everything I learn.
Relationships are about the higher purpose—there
is a deep level that needs to be satisfied
or there is no point—I need a unique
connection or I am unsatisfied. I feel
a responsibility to make a difference.
I
am empathic. I just get a feeling about
people. It’s difficult to explain.
I have the gift of being able to relate
and meaningful communication is a major
piece of my life and a major vehicle for
growth. I’m good at working with
people to improve their behavior and their
lives. I’m described as someone who
cares, who has an uncanny sense for knowing
what others need or what they are about.
When I talk to people I’m listening
for their stories and their concerns and
I experience the joy or stress with them.
I remember what’s uniquely descriptive
of that individual, and I am good at giving
praise and pointing out the gifts they
bring to their world. If I get vibes that
they are not comfortable developing the
relationship the way I think it should
be, I will back off, but I look for another
clue to come back and develop it. What
matters is working at making the relationship
the best that it can be at whatever level
it is, building depth into it.
Honesty
is very important. Even if the truth is
bad it adds to the depth of the relationship.
I
hate unresolved conflict—it makes
me sick and can stay with me until it’s
resolved—and I hate it when people
are demeaned or mistreated. My heart goes
out to them so I feel it’s my responsibility
to help, and I will fight on their behalf.
It’s just something I do, but it
hasn’t always worked. I end up telling
the person what to do and then they do
what they want regardless. If I’m
really upset, I’ll let myself calm
down, figure out what I’m going to
say, and then confront the situation.
I am very careful and aware of my actions
or words and what effect they will have
on another person, and I am thankful to
have learned to take the time to envision
various interactions before they happen.
I used to push, but now I’m more
patient. I’m usually fair, open,
and unbiased. I don’t understand
people who are insensitive to others needs
or issues or thoughts or feelings. Either
I don’t want them in my life or I
want to teach them how to care. It bugs
me when people don’t take the time
to understand each other.
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usually put the relationship ahead of
tasks I have to do, but I don’t have
unlimited energy. When I can just be who
I am and in a sharing mode and when there
is not a task-oriented pressure, that
flows better. I try hard to “be there”
emotionally for those in my life so I
have to constantly set up boundaries so
I don’t take on their problems. I
usually work overtime to make sure I am
understood. It is also very important
to me for others’ to be properly
understood, and I expend a lot of time
and energy making sure they are understood
and comfortable. Being unable to build
relationships with those who need it is
frustrating.
It’s
particularly difficult when my needs aren’t
being met. Sometimes I can’t even
feel good about myself because I worry
that others did not get what they needed.
In a group, I need to separate my interests
from others or I’ll be easily swayed
by what they want and how they behave.
I can’t be successful for myself
if I’m trying to fit into someone
else’s idea of me.
I
also tend to take a leadership position—not
a strong one always but I’m looked
at as a leader. Others having genuine
confidence in me is almost as good as
having the confidence myself. When someone
comes for help, it’s a compliment.
I listen and feed some things back that
maybe they haven’t thought about,
something that’s profound for them.
Often people will disregard the information
I give them as unimportant only to later
request the same information. That energizes
me. I try to be a thoughtful good listener,
interested, fun, and someone to come up
with ideas. Humor is a great teacher and
great healer. My favorite thing is to
watch someone have an "aha"
experience, and I really admire people
who have been through something and learned.
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Search & Apply to New Jobs The
following is adapted
from Linda V. Berens and Dario Nardi,
The
16 Personality Types: Descriptions for
Self-Discovery (Telos Publications,
1999) *Used with permission.
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