ESFJ
From
Conversations with
Facilitator Caretakers
The following
is adapted from Linda V. Berens and Dario
Nardi, The
16 Personality Types: Descriptions for
Self-Discovery (Telos Publications,
1999) *Used with permission.
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I like to be involved and doing something.
Much of my day is keeping contact with
a lot of people. That’s an important
part of my life. I enjoy communicating
with people, talking, going places and
doing things, watching people and learning
from watching. Bringing people together
is a real pleasure. Sharing and time spent
with friends and family, a special person,
is very satisfying. I like to think about
other people, and find I feel tremendous
pleasure in reading them. When I see someone
who just doesn’t talk, sometimes
I feel maybe they’re missing something.
I don’t have trouble revealing what
is very close to me, even with a complete
stranger if I feel safe. Sharing confidences
is a gift. I will anticipate others’
needs.
A
perfect day is feeling I’ve made
a difference to someone. No tension, no
conflicts, just something I’ve solved
in a way that feels good to the best of
the standards I’ve set for myself.
In
my personal life, friends are important,
and being a good friend and having good
friends I can depend on makes life a pleasure
and a joy. Long-lasting friendships or
new ones—I generally care about others
and they sense that. Maybe I care too
much sometimes, but I want to listen to
their background and rationale of why
they did something. Part of me wants to
tell them the answer right away, but sometimes
people just want someone to listen. When
I have a problem I bounce it off of people
I respect and take into account how others
involved will be affected. It can be difficult
to take a hard line when people are going
to be slighted, but sometimes I have to
go through a lot of conflict, do what
I must, and step on some toes. But I don’t
like conflict.
It’s
hard for me to be confrontational, even
to the point where I can leave myself
in a bad place because I really don’t
have the nerve to confront someone and
say really what I think needs to be said.
I tend to skirt the issue, put it off,
because I am very aware of hurting people’s
feelings. But I am not afraid to face
a challenge. I will stand up for the rights
of others in spite of many obstacles because
I believe in justice and helping people.
Intolerance and prejudice, people who
don’t stand by their word or lie
to cover up hurting someone else—these
raise the hair on the back of my neck.
It turns my stomach when people intentionally
take advantage of and hurt others. It’s
not what the person says so much as how
it’s being said, to the point where
I don’t hear the message. I want
to hear where the person is coming from.
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for me is actually something that can
be comforting. I think the rhythm of it
helps center me. I am good at organizing
things. And you’ve got to have some
fun out of your work in order to get up
every morning and go. I like doing something
just for fun, a random act of kindness.
Appreciation and meaningful support can
come in a variety of packages—when
people intuitively know what I need or
a hug or a day off. I’ve done a lot
of the civic-type thing over the years
in the community, volunteering part time.
That’s very rewarding. It’s
important to raise my kids to be good
citizens, to be compassionate in their
relationships, to work hard and stick
with it through the hard times. Generally
what goes around comes around if you wait
long enough.
At
times, even though by nature I want to
be understanding, I can find myself torn
between going by the rules and understanding.
Often I’m frustrated with decisions
because I’m caught between different
values, and I have a reputation for expecting
others to set goals for themselves and
then try to obtain those goals. I tend
to be a little too sensitive. I take criticism
to heart. Please know that I may not respond
right now but I heard you and I will respond.
I
follow through on my commitments and obligations
and believe in honest relationships and
honest communication. I admire people
who are not afraid to show affection,
who are not embarrassed to try things
even though they may not be good at them
or are willing to make a change in their
life, and who stand up for the rights
of others and are not afraid to speak
out when they feel someone is out of line.
Personal growth means listening to myself
and thinking about things, putting my
priorities in order, and understanding
that setbacks are only for today and that
I can go on.
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Search & Apply to New Jobs The
following is adapted
from Linda V. Berens and Dario Nardi,
The
16 Personality Types: Descriptions for
Self-Discovery (Telos Publications,
1999) *Used with permission.
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